She'll Find Me
by Solus Rom Veritus
Summary: Sirius is having trouble sleeping at James house the first night he moves in. He is haunted by his mother. Slash hints, language, child abuse


Slash Challenge  
  
Word Count: 1073  
  
Eternalkismet's Challenge: Sirius/James, Sirius has trouble sleeping on his first night at James' house after running away.  
  
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The bright flash of lighting illuminated the room and it's shadows before blinking back out just as fast. He darted his eyes wildly looking for her and curled up on his new bed.  
  
His new bed.  
  
New home and new life too.  
  
Even a new family. The Potters where kind and didn't care that his family where Death Eaters and Dark Wizards all. They trusted him. James even loved him. But in the dark of a storm in his first night it seemed impossible that these friendly and sweet people would be able to protect him from the dark cruelty of his mother. Nothing could stop her if she wanted something and she'd always wanted Sirius to do things. She'd always wanted him close.  
  
Her drunken voice echoed in his head, screaming at him for no reason at all.  
  
"Your mine, you know! I made you! I own you!"  
  
No. No, she didn't own him anymore. She couldn't hurt him anymore. She wouldn't kick his crying form for daring to have a nightmare. She wouldn't scream at him when she was drunk to come and touch her. She wouldn't get mad when he hid instead and go to look for him. She wouldn't find him curled up in the armoire and tip it over, doors down, so he could stay in there for days as punishment.  
  
"No one cares you know! They all just pretend to care about you to try and piss me off! They don't actually care about you. Who would care about you!?! You're a filthy, manipulative, fat, piece of shit! No one loves you but me! No one cares!!!"  
  
But the Potters cared.  
  
She would be enraged when she found he'd run away. To live with Potters no less. She would come here and kill all of these loving nice people who hadn't judged him and he would have to go back to her darkness and cruelty. Only he'd be trapped in his room with the memory of James and the Potters. He'd no longer have dreams of returning to his friends in the school year because his mother would kill them all and he would finally be totally alone.  
  
She hadn't wanted him to leave when he'd asked, and that was just for a visit. She'd pulled at his hair with her sharp nails and slammed his head in the door. Thrown his weeping form to the ground.  
  
"Why are you crying!?! Your weak! Your weak and your pathetic! Do you really think I don't know what your doing? You can't get away form me! I OWN you! I MADE you! WHY ARE YOU CRYING!?!" What was he supposed to say? Because you slammed my head in a door and it hurt? Because my head is throbbing in pain from the 2 inches of hard wood you just slammed my skull in? He didn't know what to say so he just told her 'I don't know'.  
  
"What where you thinking? That I'd let you stay with those Muggle lovers? That I'd send you off to stay with those fucking Mudbloods? Tell me what you where thinking!"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"You weren't thinking! Where you? You don't ever think! Do you want me to go over there and tell them what I think of them? Do you want me to explain to them why my PROPERTY can't go and stay in their filthy home? Because if you don't get rid of them I will! Your not to talk to them anymore, do you hear me? I'll kill them all if you do!"  
  
No! He'd screamed no! Not the Potters! Not James. She couldn't kill them, she couldn't taint them. Just being in their house was sure to darken their lives. They didn't disserve her. They were better then that. She couldn't do that. They might hate him if they met his mother and her harsh tongue.  
  
"Not James?" She'd asked in a mocking voice down at his pleading form. "Why not James? Are you fucking him? Are you whoring yourself to the Potters, Sirius? Do you like giving up to that fucking Mudblood family like the slut that you are?"  
  
"No!" He'd tried to explain. But he couldn't without saying they're not like you. He couldn't explain to her that she was insane and normal people didn't say those things to their children. That normal people understood friendship.  
  
With another flash of lightening he pulled his legs closer and used the flash of light to peer into the darkest corners. He could have sworn he saw her eyes peering through the darkness. Her cat like glowing eyes accusing him of killing his best friend by escaping to him.  
  
"Sirius?" James' voice asked from across the room, "Why are you still up?"  
  
He was thinking of an answer when a gush of wind pushed the thin cloth of the curtain against his neck. Sirius screamed out in panic and scampered to the other end of the bed. Corse and thick material that belonged to her robes. He could almost feel her long and sharp nails tickling across his neck in a treat. She was calling for him to return. She was threatening him and his friends. She could come and hurt him again. She would touch him in front of the Potters and explain what she did to him and they would look at him with disgust and hate. They would damn him for killing their family, because it was his fault in the end. He knew that escaping to their home would mean their deaths. But he just couldn't go back. He couldn't. . . he wouldn't.  
  
"Come here." James whispered in concern, lifting the edge of his covers for Sirius' shaking form to climb in. James' bed was warm and welcoming. It was so filled with love and kindness that he knew his mother wouldn't find him here. Her hard nails wouldn't dig into his neck as she made him do things. She wouldn't suddenly rip at his hair and tell him what a filthy little slut he was. What a disgusting thing he was to look at. James soft fingers and teenage-boy-bitten nails brushed his neck in a soothing motion and he melted into the mattress. He was ok. She couldn't get him as long as he stayed in James' arms. And maybe he was a whore, but whores didn't love like this. He was almost certain. 


End file.
